OCTOBER | NOVEMBER RECAP

What a difference a month makes. It felt like just yesterday we were opining that Super Ted FC’s season was over, Borussia Teeth were making a mockery of pre-season relegation predictions and that the DoWo title race was all but done as long as William Penhallurick didn’t do, well, a William Penhallurick.

To DoBo, then, and November has followed an imperious October for Sean Downs as his Super Ted FC side continue to make short work of the doomsday predictions. The strongest side in October, they’ve recorded a similarly strong showing in November with 179 points—compared to 164 for The Pain Train, 157 for the Farts, 136 for FC Des and a miserly 108 for Borussia Teeth. In terms of the table, that’s put Downs’ side just 3 points from the safety of third place and 69 from the title. Whisper it: a December Christmas miracle could yet see Super Ted become part of the DoBo title-race conversation.

As it stands, that’s largely being left to Farts of Midlothian and The Pain Train as we fly towards the festive period. A solid November for both sees them sit on 735 and 688 points, respectively, with Martin Arthur navigating a tricky disrepute charge in GW12 & GW13 with a little damage. Wyn Williams, however, will be glad to escape the month as his side shipped 50+ points to what were his title rivals. Borussia Teeth might sit just 19 points behind 2nd place but the Teeth are falling away as quickly as Super Ted FC are rising. And one side who’s going nowhere fast (other than straight to DoWo) is FC Des. Now bottom by 18 points, Michael Davies’ humiliation continues—it’s set to be a long season for the failed champions.

In DoWo, the wheels, if not coming off The Bombers’ title procession, are looking pretty wonky. At one point, they sat 97 points free and clear but a resurgent October for Heisenberg, followed by a small increase in November has at least got Gavin Jones within 66 points, and in Will Penhallurick’s wing mirror as he unconvincingly repeats to himself “we don’t let this slip.”

With Xtal the Pulsewidth 27 points behind in 3rd, it’s perhaps the first time we’ve seen the division split with St. Pauli on 685 and Mellberg’s Beard on 677. David Twigg will be disappointed November’s over after his side’s massive 193 points topped the division for the month while Wes Evans side’s solid 168 keep them in the picture with just 16 points splitting the three sides. And with DoDi outperforming them massively, the survival safety net gets a little smaller with two DoWo sides comfortably sitting in relegation spots.

Speaking of over performance, Northern Borras’ November not only saw them record the highest monthly total (207) but also become the strongest performing side in the league by some margin. In DoDi, Michael Jones’ side currently sit on a 61 point lead and even though the rising DTA have hit a rich vein of form, the signs of the traditional one-team DoDi domination are there. But what a month it was for Stephen Davies’ side. A massively impressive 203 haul for the November saw them leapfrog an ailing Die Lawro Die side into 2nd place to give the self-proclaimed “King of DoDi” the chance to chase down his crown.

And just as DTA rise, Jake Evans solid start to the season continues to dissipate. A 146 point haul for November saw his side place bottom of the monthly table—joint with The Westicles. Still, for all of their struggles over the last few weeks, and even though the title race seems to have slipped by, Evans’ side sit just 10 points behind DTA in the race for what is a guaranteed promotion spot at this stage.

Below the noise, Paulisa Fekir and The Westicles continue to trade blows on a weekly basis in their ding-dong battle for survival. Jon Jolley’s side will be the happier of the two with his side’s 168 November performance bettering Daniel Paul Huxley’s 146, edging Paulisa Fekir off the bottom in the process. But where everyone else in DoDi can claim to be looking up, both these sides will have their eyes firmly on the trapdoor to non-league obscurity.