Let’s talk about DoBo.

Once the pinnacle of the game for every aspiring manager, the top division’s spectacular fall from grace has been one of the stories of the season—and the carnival of failure shows no sign of stopping. With Cacos sensationally demoted to FT B and Exeter Gently joining Younis’ club by choice, two of the league’s most successful sides seemingly took the competition and quality with them to a non-league division setting a surprisingly competitive standard away from the media glare. As a result, it should have been an FC Des procession, and a chance for Michael Davies to equal Cacos’ back-to-back DoBo record; instead, the FC Des procession looks to be heading straight to DoWo.

But even that race to the bottom hasn’t been as simple as you’d expect.

Two -25 point deductions for PTB should have seen FC Des floundering at the bottom more than they already were: enter Sean Downs. Slapped with a -100 point deduction for lying, fraud and financial irregularities, the shit boomerang of DoBo looked set to be dead and buried this season but a defiant run of form has see Downs’ side within touching distance of the rest. Joining FC Des in what’s quickly becoming an unedifying three-way relegation battle, Rory McCarthy’s side are in the gutter as they show none of the form that sparked The Pain Train’s rise to the top division, were also hit with a -25 point PTB fine, and face the very real prospect of getting relegated by a side who started the season 75 points behind them.


It’s not all bad, though.

Wyn Williams’ Borussia Teeth continue to confound expectations, sitting 50 points clear of the bottom feeders and within 40 points of Farts of Midlothian. But even that looks set to change as just when it looked to be a plain-sailing for the Farts, manager Martin Arthur became embroiled in ‘Trophygate’ and a the looming prospect of a -50 point deduction handed down by the league—if you can beat ’em, join ’em?

Ignore the collective 225* point hit, and it’s still a division struggling to live up to its reputation with its Top 3 teams scoring a combined 1775 to DoWo’s 1779 and, somewhat sensationally, DoDi’s 2802—and with the Top performing sides coming from DoWo, DoDi and FT B, it’s a damning indictment of the supposed quality and ability DoBo proudly stood for in its heyday when teams like Exeter Gently and Cacos were racking up the titles.

As it stands, the DoBo class of 2018/19 is on course to be the worst collection of teams in the division’s history: welcome to the survival of the shittest.